Grippin' and Grinnin'

Awkward Family Photos on a tip from Div. Miss M

1. With subtlety like that, this kid could grow up to be a Republican Senator or a Democrat President.

2. "And this is exactly what you can bite for making us wear these queer ass matching sweater vests."

3. ♪♪♪♪♪ "I don't want... anybody else... when I think about you... I touch myself..." ♪♪♪♪♪

4. "That's a nice crotch grab, Billy. What else did you learn during the sleepover at Neverland Ranch?"

5. A young Fallout Boy fan misunderstands the lyric "A loaded God complex/Cock and pull it."

Blah Blah Blah Stimulus Yada Yada Yada package

Note the classic "Hide Mr. Happy" leg position

1. "Mmm, MMM, Must be jelly 'cause jam don't shake like that!"

2. And as the lust entered his heart, Chairman Bam's transformation to Jimmy Carter was complete.

3. "Here be where de white women be at!"

4. "Of course it's statutory. fool... I'm hard as a rock!"

5. "Whoa, I'd like to hit that, knock it up, and send it to Planned Parenthood where it wouldn't be reported to the authorities."

Best of Ace

He's got all the tact of a country-born wolf in a Tex Avery cartoon.

He eyes up ass like he's Indian Jones about to grab a golden Incan idol. I think he's got a half-filled sack of sand in the other hand.

The Rasmussen Passion index just went to +6 1/4.

Larry Flynt just called. He wants his class and subtlety back.

He's staring at the ass like he's a Scanner with the unique power to psychically detonate the buttocks.

Sophie Marceau Wearing Han Solo's Jacket

Sophie Marceau

Aunt Jean Never Married

1. "Excuse us ... we'd like to be alone for a while."

2. Lady, could you clear out for a minute. Jim Lileks needs to photograph this room for the sequel to Interior Desecrators.

3. A participant at an ObamaCare Town Hall Meeting demands nationalized health care for her faceless, limbless, freak-baby.

4. How many of Andrew Sullivan's sexual fetishes can you spot in this picture?

5. Enzyte's new ads are even less subtle.

Wicked Best of metalgarth
Many years later Marci, started taking the "great pumpkin" thing a little too seriously

Best of Viking04
Dog Thought Bubble: "God, please give me Scotchguard fur, or just kill me."

Best of Army of Dad
"just never you mind where I got the yeast!

Best of Silhouette
Smoke one of these, Toto, and we'll be back over the rainbow.

Best of molson
In some countries, these would be the ingredients for a balanced diet.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Welcome back to Elayne's World. Next up, I'm going to fit one of these into the other. Stick around to find out which one is which." Early 90's cable TV shows began to get a little weird.

Best of Army of Mom
And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this squash. The squash and the pillow and that's all I need. And this remote control. The squash, the pillow, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And the Peruvian band pillow. The squash, and the Peruvian band pillow, and the remote control and the orange floral pillow. And this lamp. The squash, the Peruvian band pillow and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The squash, and the Peruvian band pillow, and the remote control, and the purple pillow, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The squash, the remote control, the Peruvian band pillow, this orange floral pillow and the purple pillow. And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.

Best of Army of Mom
Eunice shows why she doesn't need a man. Not shown: peanut butter.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Thinking she had committed the perfect crime, Sylvie poses for pictures, not realizing she never washed Steve McNair's blood off of the gourd.

Best of DoubleU
"Grown from a seed, likes to read, and I peed" Carnac the Magnificent gets another one correct.

Best of dadoctah
Is it possible for a MySpace account to have a *negative* number of friends?

Und zo, ve hav to impose ze piggybank tax

One of you monors

1. "And zo, to offzet out defizit, ve vill begin auctioning zeh little girls to zeh highest bidder. Vat am I offered for zeh vun on my left."

2. "Isn't zeh little girl cute? Ja, ist too bad A-Rod knocked her up in ze seventh inning.... Vat, too zoon?"

3. "Ve still haff a $29 Billion defizit, but you vill glad to know ve haff legalized another 19 different forms of marriage."

4. "Und because zeh state defizit ist zuch a disastuh, I haff hired Roland Emmerich as our new budget director."

5. "Raise taxes or zeh little girl dies!"

Best of Jack Reacher
Thinking she'd be thrilled with his offer, Arnold offers to swap jobs with Jane, a clerk at the Sacramento DMV office.

Best of molson
Mommy why is that crazy man not wearing pants?

Best of curly
"I am the new Michael Jackson! Someone fit me with a glove!"

Best of prince of leaves
"Regahding ze allegation zat I fathered a leetle girl vit my lovah, I can only say, 'Eet's not a rooooomah'."

Best of Barco Sin Vela II
To shift media attention from the fiscal crisis, Ahhnuld comes clean about his Guatemalen wench and love child.

Best of GregMan
"Und zis is ze time on Sprockets vhen ve declare bankruptcy!"

Best of Mr. Hankey
After a long speech about the deficit, Gov Ahnold brings tears to the crowd as he brings little Julie comes to the platform and she states through tears “I just want to say ever since I was born, Ahnold has been the best govenor you can ever imagine, And I just want to say I love him so much.”

Best of dadoctah
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

Best of mpur
Politician's ties and their message:

Red + I am the alpha male and I am in charge

Blue - Stay calm, there is nothing to worry about

Lime green with polkadots: You are screwed

Naked Gym

Knowlrfhr is Power

1. "Morning, Joe. How's the wang?"

2. After seeing this, I no longer pray for humanity's salvation, but that God gets goin' on the Apocalypse toot sweet!

3. Yes, dub, I'm saving Naked 'Curves' for Thursday.

4. "I agree, Phil. Al Franken has as much business bein' in the Senate as we got makin' a gay porno. Speaking of which, would you care to sauna with me?"

5. With this pic, V the K officially drops to third-rate pornographer.

Best of Army of Dad
Goofus and Gallant in Clean & Jerk.

Best of Unscrupulous
Welcome to Buff's Total Fitness. Home of the brown striped towels.

Best of Silhouette
On the bright side, after a half hour of this, there is slightly less of them.

Best of racerboy
What this gym needs is... more strategically-placed blurs.

Best of Jay Guevara
Rules for Olympic lifts:

Squats? No.
Snatch? Hell no.
Clean and jerk? Don't ask.

Best of divine miss m
ORA: "Hey, who's the new guy with the penis?"

Best of Robert
Note to customers: after exercising, please clean the equipment using the high pressure steam sprayer. - The management.

Best of metalgarth
Does the world really need carbon-neutral gay porn?

Best of prince of leaves
I got an ab workout just from looking at this picture...and then vomiting uncontrollably.

Best of dadoctah
"Okay, I'll sit through just *one* more Sacha Baron Cohen movie, and then I quit."

Ang Lee is remaking something, I don't know what.

Brender

1. Ted Haggard's pool-boy has to accommodate some ... unusual ... fetish requests.

2. "Hello, Billy. Want to be touched by an angel?"

3. They've hired 47 of these guys to put on a Vegas-style dance number at Michael Jackson's funeral; and some people said it was going to be tacky.

4. "I think I napalmed his gook village back in '66," McCain said of the apparition.

5. Has anyone figured out what exactly they're proud of?

Best of paul
And the angel of the Lord said unto them, "I look Fabulous!"

Best of Army of Dad
Oops, looks like we walked in on Sulu's new holodeck program.

Best of jj
Job interviews at Barney Frank's office have really gotten tacky lately.

Best of ochagirl
Some people will do anything to distract attention away from their third nipple.

Best of Silhouette
If Bob can get his boss to insult him using the words tinkerbell or fairy, Bob can retire on the settlement money. Bob loves casual Fridays.

Best of Adriane
John Phillip Law looks about as excited as I am to hear Jane Fonda is coming out of retirement for Barbarella 2012.

Best of DaveP.
In reality, Heaven isn't filled with the sounds of harps or choirs of angels: it's filled with the sounds of Evangelicals screaming their lungs out.

Best of racerboy
You think that's bold - you should see the matching sharkskin codpiece.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Obama announces his new Gay Czar.

Best of sonicfrog
The Episcopal church has gone too far this time!

Say Hello to My Little Friend

Sondra K


1. Among Klingons, women with gigantic clenises are highly prized.

2. M'Chel's passion for socialized health care is motivated by revenge against the surgeon that botched 'her' sex change.

3. The one flaw to his otherwise perfect disguise foiled Andrew Sullivan's attempt to get into Obama's bed.

4. It takes a lot of balls to wear a skintight aquamarine dress.

5. M'Chel was an instant hit at the Female High School PhysEd Teachers' convention.

Best of Viking04
Her LPGA card is in the mail, overnight platinum express.

Best of Army of Dad
M'Chel "Hillary I see your shwartz is as big as mine, lets see how you handle it."

Best of Rich Bateman
Trust the members of the vast right wing conspiracy to blow things all out of proportion!

Best of dadoctah
There hasn't been a First Shemale in this country since...I'm thinkin' Eleanor Roosevelt.

Best of Julie the Jarhead
I had a drill instructor at Parris Island who looked like M'Chel -- except for the penis.
Maybe.

Best of HLam
Looks like she leans to the left in more ways than one.

Best of Army of Dad
Madame first lady, you are supposed to stuff your bra!

Best of GregMan
It's 2009, and scientists photograph a male sasquatch for the first time.

Best of racerboy
Blindingly Obvious Caption #429 - "'Scuze me while ah whip this out!"

Best of curly
"Stimulus package? I don't need no stinking stimuls package! My package be stimulated!"

A Yahoo on a MapQuest

Knowlrfhr is Power

1. "Use the bathroom, you imbecile!" Even Axelrod was frustrated by The Obama's complete helplessness sans Teleprompter.

2. "No, you moron, you don't have any armies in Ukraine. That's a Risk gameboard."

3. The Obama was puzzled. In all of his many trips overseas, he had never noticed that countries had their names spelled out in giant letters.

4. "Watch, I'm gonna hock a loogie on Germany.Watch! Guys! You're not watching."

5. "Yeah, he's baked again and thinks he's watching the National Geographic channel. Let's nationalize another industry before he comes down."

Best of paul
Great. First he bows to the Saudi King. Now he's squatting for the Flat Earth group.

Best of eat me
look... Africa is smaller than Michele's butt

Best of GregMan
"OMG! North Korea is only 20 inches away from Hawaii! Maybe we do need missle defense!"

Best of blue
lets see, where was I born???

Best of Army of Dad
*chuckle* djibouti *chuckle

Best of Jay Guevara
"Hey, I didn't get a 'harumph' out of that country."

Best of metalgarth
Lenny tricked Carl into wasting half his lunch break trying to find Waldo

Best of Unscrupulous
"He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins."

Best of molson
Does this thing get porn?

Best of Zuul
I know Michael Jackson is from Neverland. That's one of those small European countries, right?

Best of prince of leaves
"What about these triangular countries in the corners - have we borrowed money from them yet?"

Best of curly
"Mr. Map, on behalf of the people and government of the United Mistakes, I would like to apologize..."

Happy "Independence" Day

Best of Silhouette
Anchors aweigh...about 2 pounds each, it looks like.

Best of dadoctah
Fireworks won't be the only things getting banged today.

Best of Silhouette
I see Hillary was in charge of the new uniform design for midshipwomen at Annapolis.

Best of Rich Bateman
I think I have that outfit. I look nothing like that in it.

Best of Barco Sin Vela II
Despite warnings from local coyotes, Magdelena found her border crossing to be quite simple and almost pleasant, after changing out of her traditional peasant garb and into something a bit more comfortable.

Best of Silhouette's husband
I believe there's a seaman joke in there somewhere. But that is true for 95% of the pics at this place.

Best of steve o
Somehow the girls raised enough money to fund a new gymnasium, blunting any criticism of the new Cheer uniforms.

Best of Army of Dad
I never thought I would say this but, Hello sailor!

The Lenscrafters Eyebulge Chick Falls on Hard Times

Brender

1. The issue of Danny Devito's hot and juicy affair with Pippi Longstocking.

2. Five months later, the last hit of blotter acid Rick took at Mardi Gras finally wore off. "How the Hell did I end up in India?"

3. Left-wing Photoshop attacks on Sarah Palin's kids just get worse and worse.

4. Rightwingnutlicker celebrates the 4th of July in his own "special" way.

5. Even Oompah-Loompahs were laid off in Obama's recession.

Best of Submariner
Whoa; Johnny Depp has really let himself go for "Pirates XVI!"

Best of metalgarth
Lamest... Kiss... Tribute... Ever

Best of mega
Jon Lovitz' initial reaction to Palin quitting as governor was one of stunned bewilderment.

Best of dadoctah
You can never guess ahead of time what project is going to strike Jack Black's fancy.

Best of prince of leaves
Looks like she got a look at the Lunch Box Surprise.