Thursday, January 20, 2005

Return to the Valley of the Freaks

On Inauguration Day, I thought it might be a good time to check back in with those spoiled brat, pharmaceutically-leveled, navel-gazing cry-babies at Sorry-Everybody-dot-com.



1. The Ketchup is a little weird, but hey, I'll try anything once, and besides, I think this Jeffrey Dahmer guy might just be the one.

2. Except for the facemask, this looks pretty much like anybody who ever tried to give a cat a bath.

3. Okay, he's standing in a bathtub in his underwear covered in ketchup and he's calling Bush-voters stupid. R-i-i-i-i-i-i-g-h-t.

4, "Don't pick your nose." I said. "Especially, don't pick your nose with a switchblade," I said. But did you listen? N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.....

5. Apparently, you can get blood from a stoner.

6. Hygiene tip of the day, when you start to bleed, you're scrubbing too hard.

7. "Um, Rick... when I suggested we 'play doctor,' that was not a cue for you to mutilate yourself."

8. Proceeds from the class-action lawsuit against the 'Ronco Home-Circumcision Kit' financed John Edwards's entire 2008 presidential run.

9*. Robyn Hitchcock's music is pretty good, but sometimes his fans take his lyrics a little too seriously.

10. 20 years later, Hobbes is still ambushing Calvin when he least expects it.


* Handy hyperlink explains obscure reference for anyone who isn't Dennis Miller.

0 comments: