No, dub it isn't Thursday. Har-dee Har Har. 1. "According to the Program, my lecture on exercise and weight control is scheduled right after Al Gore discusses energy conservation and that nice man from ACORN talks about honest elections."
2. As long as Shana is around, 'Hostess Snack Cakes' will never need to ask for a bailout.
3. "Somewhere in here, there must be a recipe that combines Twinkies, RC Cola, and bacon!"
4. "Let's see, I have lunch from 10:30 to 2:00. Then, there's a faculty meeting at 3:30. Then, at four, I'm scheduled to buy shoes from Al Bundy."
5. If George Takei ever does Dancing with the Stars, this is the chick who'll be his dance partner.
Best of flyovercountry
I have got to get the goods on this Joe the Plumber guy so I can impress my Obama man. He is going to give me a tax break you know.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"I'd hit that!" (something only a stray meteor might say)
Best of Cappy Von Capperson
Huh. Well I'll be. It says here that large checkered patterned quilts aren't slimming after all.
Best of metalgarth
Damn it, Johnny On The Spot... I am HUNGRY!!!
Best of Matt Kostume
Pam's jacket bears a design based on aerial photos of Iowa farm fields. Scale: 1:1.
Best of Jack Reacher
After her son developed a taste for them, Mindy looked everywhere for recipes that used sheep testicles.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
CERN's HR officer was apologetic, but said Edna's mass was messing with the Hadron SuperCollider and she had to be let go.
Best of Gregory
Who knows the Tax Code...Flo KNOWS!
Best of Seoulman (R)
Where am I got to find 6lbs of chocolate at this hour?
Best of aj
Just as Ethel feared, her photo *is* next to "fat" in the Dictionary.
Best of baslim
Roseanne Barr studies the script of "Smelley Pirate Hookers on Jupiter". She stars as the planet.
Best of Kaptain Krude
"Ennui... ennui... en... en... Hey, how the f*** DO you spell "ennui", anyway?"
Best of Rodney Dill
Keeper of the Smelly Pirate Hooker code...
Best of GregMan
ORA: Horror ensues when a fat, hungry lesbian finds a copy of "How To Serve Man" left behind by the aliens.
Best of Jay Guevara
"OK, OK,I got it. On this play I pull and blow out the offside defensive end."
Best of Jay Guevara
Mindy surveys her collection of takeout menus.
43 comments:
I have got to get the goods on this Joe the Plumber guy so I can impress my Obama man. He is going to give me a tax break you know.
Let's see, two frogs legs, eye of a bat, a chicken heart, it's all right here. I'll teach those eighth graders to make fun of a fat lunch lady.
FAT CHICKS - America's vast untapped strategic oil reserve. Trouble is, it's tough to find anyone willing to drill them.
Factoid: Roseanne Barr's outfits double as wedding reception tents in SoCal.
-or-
"I'd hit that!" (something only a stray meteor might say)
Huh. Well I'll be. It says here that large checkered patterned quilts aren't slimming after all.
Damn it, Johnny On The Spot... I am HUNGRY!!!
Oh boy, my first day on the White House cooking staff. OK, now just what is Arugula anyhow? Probably something that real people wouldn't have stuck up their a$$.
Ethan Allen rolls out its new Couch Clothing line.
Huh. Apparently I really do have more chins than a Chinese phone book..
Tonight on NBC: "America's Biggest Reader"
Anita worked in the Cold Cut Case department.
Pam's jacket bears a design based on aerial photos of Iowa farm fields. Scale: 1:1.
Doris reviews her Weight Watchers calorie count folder for all of Tuesday.
"Goofus told me that gullible isn't in the dictionary. But it's right here."
Dawn can't figure out why it's called the Plum Book--she's been all through it and found no plums.
She knows Robinson is between Ramirez and Rodriguez, but that can be a long search in the L.A. phone book.
After her son developed a taste for them, Mindy looked everywhere for recipes that used sheep testicles.
CERN's HR officer was apologetic, but said Edna's mass was messing with the Hadron SuperCollider and she had to be let go.
-or-
Geophysicists used to scoff when asked whether the earth's orbit would change should every human jump up/down simultaneously. However, the obesity epidemic now has a nervous NASA tracking fat chick migrations to make sure they're distributed fairly evenly across the globe.
Who knows the Tax Code...Flo KNOWS!
Sadly the Chubby Chasers "Rugged Women" Calendar was a Christmas flop
Where am I got to find 6lbs of chocolate at this hour?
beauty was in the eye of the beholder, and the eye of the beholder was in Sandy's stomach
I could have been Sarah Palin, heck I could have been two Sarah Palins
Just as Ethel feared, her photo *is* next to "fat" in the Dictionary.
How most men imagine feminists
Me thinks the arrow in the background is the only thing going down as far as this woman is concerned.
Marge sadly goes through her daily routine of reading all of the fat names she's ever been called.
put down the fork and nobody gets hut! jabba the hurt
Fat Joke Revenge...
Following her termination from CERN, Edna went on a massive eating binge, turning into a black hole that eventually consumed Earth!
baslim said...
Roseanne Barr studies the script of "Smelley Pirate Hookers on Jupiter". She stars as the planet.
"Ennui... ennui... en... en... Hey, how the f*** DO you spell "ennui", anyway?"
Keeper of the Smelly Pirate Hooker code...
ORA?
When did Sister Mary Elephant give up her habit?
Man, Michelle Malkin has really let herself go since the election...
Man, Roseanne really looks better since the election...
ORA: Horror ensues when a fat, hungry lesbian finds a copy of "How To Serve Man" left behind by the aliens.
"Let's see, how many tons of raw hamburger meat can I get each week with all the food stamps the Obamessiah will give me?"
Atkins Diet.
Yeah, right...
"24" jumped the shark when it announced its new season's terrorist threat.
"OK, OK,I got it. On this play I pull and blow out the offside defensive end."
The first female line...uh...person drafted by the NFL studies her team's playbook.
Mindy surveys her collection of takeout menus.
"Does this tarp make me look fat?"
JAYYYYYYYYYYY!
that HAS to be the winner!
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