1. Standard Cap Number 4: "Is this the C-CKS-CKER residence? 121 P-SSY Way???"
2. "Hello, Verizon? There's a Negro in my network. Please have him removed."
3. "Guest host 'Tales From the Crypt?' Love to..."
4. "You heard me, I want him whacked. Tonight, Abe Vigoda sleeps with the fishes."
5. "Caught sniffing underwear in the locker room at Sidwell Friends? Well, Principal Lodish, I agree that's a serious problem, but Barney Frank is a congressman, not a senator. I suggest you take this up with Speaker Pelosi."
B.O. metalgarth
Fashion Police? Yes I'd like to turn myself in for wearing a tie that appears to be made out of sofa found on some Kentuckian's front porch in 1975.
B.O. metalgarth
"Smithers... bring the motor car up front post haste. ...and fire those jackanapes in sector 7B"
B.O. Jack Reacher
"Well, yes, I suppose my refrigerator is running. Why?"
B.O. Seoulman (R)
I go mental in the mornings listening to Z 93, what did I win?
B.O. MattKostume
After posing for that American Gothic painting, Sen. Reid's phone was buzzing off the hook.
B.O. MattKostume
Uh...sir, that's your Norelco. I have your phone right here.
B.O. molson
So when do you think we should tell him the phone isn't turned on?
B.O. Submariner
Whispering; "hello... is this 'The Transporter' I'm speaking with?"
B.O. robert
No, no, it has to look like an accident.
B.O. Kaptain Krude
"Capital One? I don't know any Capital One, and it's none of your business what's in my wallet!"
B.O. GregMan
"Hello, Security? There's another smelly peasant stinking up the Rotunda. Please have him taken out and shot."
B.O. lawhawk
Smell ya laters!
Update from Michelle Malkin: Letter from a DC Tourist to Harry Reid: "Dude, it's called 'deodorant.' D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T."
47 comments:
I am terribly sorry Putin, the plan didn't go exactly as planned. Yes... but we are working on it, we plan on over turning the Franken decision. Yes sir, it will work, it will just take us longer dear Putin. I will not fail you again.
Fashion Police? Yes I'd like to turn myself in for wearing a tie that appears to be made out of sofa found on some Kentuckian's front porch in 1975.
Dammit, Omar, I told you the terror attacks were supposed to wait until next year so The One could look good. WTF do we pay you people for.
"Lord Vader, have you finished slaughtering all the younglings at the Jedi Temple, yet?"
ORA: Many years after the incident at the "Waffle Hole", Skeletor was elected to Congress and kept in close tabs with president-elect Obama
"Smithers... bring the motor car up front post haste. ...and fire those jackanapes in sector 7B"
"Well, yes, I suppose my refrigerator is running. Why?"
"Prince Albert. In a can. It's a smoking tobacco! My God, what do they teach you kids these days?"
"Yes, I need to have some cars towed from reserved spaces. Filibuster THAT, mother*******!"
"The policy is simple Ted, if it moves tax it, and if it doesn't move it needs a bailout.
Hello, ACLU? Do you handle Zombie discrimination cases?
Where will you be when your geritol kicks in?
I go mental in the mornings listening to Z 93, what did I win?
ok we need 4 pizzas, 4 bottles of coke. How would I like to pay? Just put your name on the bailout list like everyone else.
Funny...when I search for "miserable failure" this is the picture that comes up.
What's that? Franken lost in Minnesota? Wow, I thought he would win, after all, the voters are dumb enough to vote for me.
Hello, Omar? When you and the goat get out of the tunnel, give me a call and let me know where I pick up the goat.
Oh, hello Nancy, yes, I know that "The One" has made Hillary Sec of State. Yes I know that almost every one of his appointments are former Clinton people. Yes, I guess we were all fooled. You think this means we don't get to be socialists after all?
Hello, Amazon.com? Hey, can I buy a personality?
Dammit Larry! I told you never to call me on this number!!! OK... 3rd floor annex washroom?...See you at 2:30.
Well, uh, I'm wearing my navy suit and my lucky tie...what are YOU wearing, Mistress Tara?
After posing for that American Gothic painting, Sen. Reid's phone was buzzing off the hook.
Uh...sir, that's your Norelco. I have your phone right here.
Harry Morgan in After-After-After M*A*S*H
Senator Reid practices phoning in his performance.
It would be best for America if we couldn't hear him now.
Why yes... I am a weaselly POS. Thanks for noticing.
So when do you think we should tell him the phone isn't turned on?
Whispering; "hello... is this 'The Transporter' I'm speaking with?"
Hello. This is Harry Reid and I wanted to remind you Georgia voters that Saxby Chambliss stands for everything I'm against. Please remember to vote tomorrow.
Hi Helen. Just wanted you to know that I MISSED you at my visit to the White House Press Corps, if you know what I mean...
Sorry for the mental image. But if it's any consolation, I threw up a little in my mouth just typing that.
"...rumors of my demise are greatly exagerated. Who did you here that... from...* uh, Mrs. Reid you say?"
What do you monors want from me? You think it's easy to wreck a $13 trillion economy?
Yes, W, it working just like we planned. Nancy is pleased.
No, no, it has to look like an accident.
VW: kinglitt
"Bob, listen closely, my broker friend...I'm in a rush. Take all my shares of AIG and Citi, grab my Ford Motor bonds, my NYTimes stock, and my holdings in Google, the GE 6 % bonds of '35, and my call options on the SPX spiders. Cash them all in, and then take the entire proceeds and buy me that new $19.95 bookcase at Ikea. If there's any change left over, can you pick me up some of those sweedish meatballs in the cafeteria? Thanks, chief."
"No...no, sorry, but you're not getting the reference to Animal House. Have our people talk to Huffington and that Markos kid and straighten them out. We can't afford any more splooging of ignorance across the pages of conserva-humor sites like VtK."
"Capital One? I don't know any Capital One, and it's none of your business what's in my wallet!"
"Now we shall have our revenge on the Jedi!"
wv: subble - Subby's thought bubble?
"Yes, I'd like an order of Cock Soup, and the Cream of Sum Yung Gi."
"Hello, Security? There's another smelly peasant stinking up the Rotunda. Please have him taken out and shot."
"No dear, I'm afraid the viagra hasn't kicked in yet. Let me take another dozen pills and see if that works."
"...and get those smelly peasants OFF MY LAWN!"
"Hello, information? Can you tell me where to get a clue?"
Smell ya laters!
"Nancy, let's throw another $1 trillion into the pot, to pay off the loans of anyone who bought furniture, pets, or health club memberships they can't afford."
"Barry? It's Harry. We're finally in charge. We can now fufill our life-long dream: Surrendering to the French!"
♫ Wall Street bail-outs and mortgage loans;
Constitution you're in my way.
This liberal Congress is such a joke
Look what's going on inside you.
CHORUS-
Ooh, ooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of tourists that surrounds you.
♫
Ver Word: dechous.
I don't know if it means anything, but it sounds like a good descriptive for congress to me.
"Um yes, one of my aides would like to know, um, where the white women at?"
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