1. How do you tell your kids, "When I first met your mom, she was upside down on a stripper pole."
2. They were going to go with the crotchless wedding gown, but decided this was more tasteful.
3. Later... "I now pronounce you, man and personal flotation device."
4. The gown wasn't the tackiest part of the wedding. That award went to Andrew Sullivan in Carol Channing drag singing "My Heart Will Go On."
5. The happy couple plan to spend their honeymoon in Hawaii, where they will make videos of themselves copulating on the beach and post them to YouTube.
Best of Dactyl
Good thing she had those velcro nipples installed.
Best of Submariner
The bumper sticker just says "Not Bombs"
Best of John.....just John
I now pronounce you mr. and mrs. Army of Gazongas!
Best of DaveP.
When the bride said she'd be buying an "off the rack" gown, this isn't waht I was expecting.
Best of Kaptain Krude
There's plunging necklines, and then there's falling-off-the-precipitously-steep-cliff plunging necklines.
Best of molson
Must have been in an accident. Looks like the airbags went off.
42 comments:
I have been following your blog and i live it.
The building in the background has huge cleavage also.
The limo had an extra axle to carry all that juggage.
The honeymoon was at Hedonism III, what a shock.
I have been following your blog and i live it.
Best spam yet!
When I was in my twenties I wanted some girl who loved me as much as I loved her.
When I was in my thirties I wanted a woman who would care for, love, and nurture our children.
When I was in my forties I wanted a woman that I could grow old with.
When I was in my fifties I just wanted a young girl with really big tits.
Where did you get a copy of my wedding invitation?
Good thing she had those velcro nipples installed.
"Relax, that's not the bride. It's that smartass usher, Dennis, grabbing for attention."
I wonder what he sees in her?
This weekend only at David's Bridals, all gowns are half off.
They had to rent a separate limo for her t!t$.
All three women in the picture are overweight...and ugly. What a shock.
VICTORY!
WV; endersac
I think the woman in black just discovered where she'd be when her Dulcolax kicked in.
The bumper sticker just says "Not Bombs"
This is an opticval illusion: They're not getting married, he's escorting the woman who intends to solve world hunger to the Bonn.
I didn't realize AoD took AoM to the JP in a limo...
v word - taill - yep, blogger is surely sentient, now.
She: It's tradition! During a Betazoid wedding, the bride and the groom get completely undressed.
He: But I'm human and you're only 1/8 Betazoid...
She: Deal!
So, I'm guessing the women in black are part of the groom's family?
Man, I feel sorry for the pastor that has to perform this ceremony.
Tired of being perpetually humiliated as Putin's lapdog, Medvedev was ready to quit until Vlad rammed the "prima nocte" law through the Russian parliament to entice him to stay on.
"Yes, the bride is from Chernobyl...how did you guess?"
Did any of you even notice the GIANT zit on the nose of the girl in the black on the left?
I didn't think so.
Best wishes to the four of them.
There's someone dressed in black?
boing!!! boing!!!
Voted: Couple most likely to be happy for at least 2 years.
I now pronounce you mr. and mrs. Army of Gazongas!
Debut episode of the new reality show: Synthetic Housewives of New Jersey.
When the bride said she'd be buying an "off the rack" gown, this isn't waht I was expecting.
Not that I'm complaining...
DRUDGEBREAKING:
Source of world silicon shortage spotted in Garden State near ramp 187.
Developing...
Fer gawd's sake, Marcie; gargle befor ya meet da Pastor - ya gots cock-breath.
ORA: I see she's been shopping in the "Get a load of these" department of Winfred-Louder.
wv: rednes - It's not only become sentient, but jealous as well.
There's plunging necklines, and then there's falling-off-the-precipitously-steep-cliff plunging necklines.
At least they're not gay...
Must have been in an accident. Looks like the airbags went off.
Although the newlywed husband would be tragically killed, the bride would miraculously survive the head-on collision.
yes, i know it's a repeat, but that doesn't mean it doesn't apply...
The Contemporary Service at 11:00 is a lot more laid back.
Bride to groom: "I'm so glad I chose this gown. That other one made me look cheap."
The last time I saw something that looked like that, it was next to a pier, preventing hull damage...
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